In A Bad Mood

Ok I hate when your in a bad mood and someone asks the question are you in a bad mood. YES im in a bad mood why do you think I look like I want to kill someone. Im going to try to keep my language G rated in this post but its going to be hard. Im tired of friends treating me like dirt Im so about to just leave this place for ever. Its times like these where I need to break something but my phone never breaks for some odd reason I just threw it across the room into the bath room and hey guess what it still works. This thing like never breaks Ive thrown it so hard on the ground hoping it would break and it never does its like the energizer bunny it just keeps going and going and going and going and going.

War

Ive been listening to music from the movie Blackhawk Down lately and it has gotten me thinking about some things. Ive seen the movie several times and it is one of my favorites. I have so much respect for the actual men that went through that whole ordeal and if I could ever me them that would be an amazing experience. Some times we think about all the problems in our lives and how hard we have things but in reality we have never seen hard times. Most of us have never seen that many horrible things or been put to serious trials. I find myself wondering if I was ever in a siguation like that would I be able to deal with the struggle. I would like to think I would be able to but its alot different when your actually there and the bullets are flying by you and at that moment you realize that at any second I could die.

Update

Ok well lately I have been busy with school work yeah I know thats a knew concept haha. Well yeah school is going good Im keeping up with alot of the stuff and so far getting good grades so Im happy. My first real test is on Monday though thats when I have my first midterm but I feel pretty confident about it so hopefully it wont be a problem.

On a side not I ran into a band called Rookie of The Year and I really like the way they sound. Its more of an accustic soft sound and they mix in some different instruments including the piano. And I think a band that has a piano in it sounds so much better. I really wish I could still play the piano, I used to play alot but then stoped because people wouldnt let me play what I wanted to play and now I regret quiting it.

Me

OK this post is going to tell you guys a little bit about me because I think some people just don't know because I don't really talk that much. So hopefully this isn't to boring. I'm a really laid back guy on most issues if there is a problem I usually try to find a solution quick with out causing that much stress on myself or any one else. I tend to let things roll off me and try to always look on the bright side even if that means really digging deep. The one thing I struggle with is relationships, I have had a hard time finding them at all. I have ruined some friendships by trying to turn them into some thing more and I have learned from many mistakes. But this continues to be a constant struggle in my life and its one I don't know when I will get over.  I actually like to watch chick flicks but I usually don't watch them cause I have no one to watch them with. Some people are gonna think I'm crazy but you know the movie "The Notebook". Ive had many people tell me that its a great movie but I refuse to watch it, why because I want to watch it with someone special and until there is someone I'm not going to watch it..OK I know that's a little odd but I don't care its just one of the many odd things about me.

Fun to me isn't about what you do its more about who you are with. I would rather just chill with friends and talk about what ever and pass the time then go out and watch a movie or go out to eat. The type of music I like to listen to is pretty broad but I would have to say that its usually on the softer more mellow side then anything else. I like oldies like the Beach Boys and other greats thanks to Bill Lee, yeah I remember helping him paint to trip set and listening to K-Earth 101 man those were great times..

Some of the things I like to do are Snowboarding yeah I just recently got a new snowboard and have been going up when ever I get the chance its amazing. During the summer though when there is no snow I head the opposite direction to the beach to do some Body boarding with my bro and man I cant get enough of the beach in the summer.  Some sports that I like to play and I know this is going to shock allot of people but I love to play Volleyball and especially Beach Volleyball man I wish we had like a guys team in high-school we would have gotten killed but it would have been fun still. I also love to play Tennis and of course most people know Soccer as well.  One thing most people don't know is that I also love to fish and am pretty good at it actually. I went up to Mammoth a couple times with the Jr High teams and with Mr Heaton and Mr Shintaku who are both really good fishers allot better then I'am. But we had contests to see who could catch the most fish and the first time I almost beat Mr Heaton I think he beat me on the last day catching one fish. But the best time I have ever had was just sitting there looking at the amazing view we had and just relaxing I cant explain how it feels.

OK well I cant think of anything else I want to say but I'm sure there are allot of other things I could tell you that most people don't know so if you want to know ask me ha-ha. Sorry if some people were bored by this post I just thought I would let some things out and maybe you didn't know some of the things until now so any ways aight I'm out….

Hope

As you know a problem I have is wanting to know who Im supposed to be with. And sometimes I worry if I will say the right thing or what ever or if I will miss something. But last night I started to lose hope and by now its pretty much none existent. Im pretty depressed right now even though I really shouldnt be. I think I have reached a point where I just dont care if there is someone or not and I dont want to look any more. So Im officially quiting looking for any one, Im tired of wasting my life wondering when she will come and you know what I dont care if she comes any more cause Im sick of this. I know I have to have faith and people try to make you feel better by saying just be patient when the time is right it will happen. I dont want to deal with this pain any more…..